I don't want to mention anything about my dismal NS days. I have something more heartening to share today - The demise of a man who was once my guide to buddhism - Mr Goh Gek Hong.

He used to watch me grow, from an infant to a teen, and then into a fine young man. I started my buddhism studies at his place where Nichiren Buddhism was taught, and he always seem to be a solitary man to me. One thing he was well known of, was his frequent puffings; he never once went with0ut a packet of cigarrettes.

These small sticks of tar and tobacco, has become his biggest burden and eventually his killer.

Last November, mum and I went to his place for a chanting session with some other Soka members to pray his for quick recovery. He was losing his voice day by day as his lungs condition start to worsen, but he was still able to communicate with us like normal people.

Days later, mum told me he was admitted into Tan Tock Seng hospital. I heard he was undergoing some chemo-treatments, and his conditions were improving bit by bit. It was a wonderful piece of news, and I was so relieved and elated over it.

However, his conditions deteriorated after he was hit by viral infections. To my astonishments, mum told me the doctor had said that given his weak immune system, he has little days left. It was devastating and saddening, as things happened too quickly too suddenly. Another chanting session was held, this time in my chapter zone leader's place.

There were slightly more than 1o people attending the session. Each and every one of us chanting for the best of him. As for me personally, I didn't pray for him to recover. I know we have to be practical in handling such things, and prayers are only for people who understand its meanings. I prayed for him to either recover smoothly, or leave peacefully and without pain.

The next day, mum and I visited him in the hospital. He was rather delighted to see us, and was trying his best to show his hospitality despite being in a difficult situation. I was relieved to see how strong he still is, as he communicate with us through hand gestures and words written on a writting board. He toned down too much, but he was still very conscious. Besides his bed was his chanting beads which he used to chant on bed. As we communicate, he tried to speak something to me which we couldn't comprehend. His voice was completely lost by then, so he had to rely on the writing board to convey his words.

He said '人生到了最后，才知道爱惜'. The next moment saw his tears running down his cheeks, which made me emotional but i had to suppress my sorrow. Mum wants to leave after an hour of visit, but I was a bit reluctant as I know that I may never see him again. He moved to a hospice the following Monday, and everybody knows a hospice usually accomodate people who are in their final days.

3 days after his move (today), I received a message from a friend of Soka. He informed me of a wake, of Mr Goh Gek Hong that will start tonight. I was stunned, too shocked to feel anything. He was still looking strong last Saturday when we visited him, and he left just 5 days after. Life is just so vulnerable, so unpredictable, and so sudden. But I hope he left without pain, to attain Buddhahood.

I'll be attending his wake tomorrow evening, to pay my last respect to this great man. I'll never forget him; how he used to teach buddhism, and how a solitary man he is to me.

Rest In Peace Mr Goh Gek Hong, goodbye.