I'm enlisting in a week, which means I have only 7 days to idle before I start wasting time in the Air Force doing administration work. Work in Skagen was pretty alright despite the awful wage, but it was good experience and easy for a sales veteran like me.

Life is getting so screwed for me, I'm losing grip to a lot of things already. There was the confidence in me that turned my pride to arrogance and complacency, now I'm losing all that I have in me to do even the simple things. Perhaps it was the 'awakening' that aroused my visions. When my smug look brushed across all I wanted to challenge, I realised I haven't the capability to put myself on the top shelf. I can't convince myself, not at this moment of my life. But I'm still young, there are a lot of things I'm going to do to become who I will become in future. It's going to be a bumpy journey, but with good legs I'm going to cross the toughest mountains and leap over the highest hurdle. It's just a matter of time.

I have a strong ego, so strong I couldn't even stand myself sometimes. But that's also the reason I'm pushing hard to accomplish as much as I can. If I have to, I will be.