Nobody will ever understand the kind of pressure I'm under now. 1 year to my NS enlistment, 1 day to my attachment in a worthless Malaysian restaurant doing something intimidating. When I try to confide my stress, people think I'm stupid and paranoid.

There is no reason why I should work in a junky food dump with no single cent paid. I've enough stress from the NS stuffs already, now this fucking attachment come add on to the trouble. Who will provide for me?

And girl, I really don't know how I should put it to tell you how much I just miss you. I don't show it in my tone to tell you that I care, I care by doing something to get things right so you can smile again. You know, it just hurt deep inside to see all your messages. Despite how upset I was at what you may have done or said, I accepted it as your personality. It hurts when my bro told me what you said to him at Dover, it hurts more when you asked me if you would mope more for your besties' death or mine. But I know you as a very straightforward person. Afterall, I know you still love and care for me, and that's how I overcome my emotions. I may not be very good in saying things to cheer you up, but I do care. And I never thought of giving up, because I simple love you.

That's what I wanna say. Hope you understand. I am not perfect, but trying to be the best.