Duke of the Night

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Music playing in background - "No One Would Listen" by Gerard Butler (Phantom Of The Opera)

Profile

Borned 16/12/1988

Not too sociable
Pretty introvert
Straightforward
You name it.

Camus

Loves blue cheese with Shiraz

Guiness Stout

Classic, or orbit

Pu`Er Cha (Chinese Tea)

Singing in the shower

Watches S-League matches and supports SAFFC

Pool/Snooker

Chills in bar and pubs, doesn't go to clubs.

Keeps lots of candles and scents for display and collection

Persistent in opinions/decisions

Eat a lot, sleep alot, play a lot, and serious at work

Loves everything about his room, the tranquility, serenity, and solitary.

Laws

Flaws and Goodness

Introvert.

Sinks his melancholy in alcohol.

Count yourself lucky if he talks to you about his troubles.

Very frank in words, may upset people with his words.

Emotional, not temperamental.

Dumb actually, but hides his side really well.

Political, but treasures his few friends.

Perfectionist.

Resends his own personality.

As described, live alone.

Thinks badly of a person first, before becoming friends.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

1:57 AM

This blog is personal, this blog is private, this blog is confidential, this blog is isolated......

Yes... All that knew me well enough knows I deal very well with mind-games, especially the typical reverse psychology. I may even know what's going on your mind at a look of your body movement or expression. That was precisely how I managed to deal with the society; reacting to every of your proclamation. That was how I attained all that I wanted from the society.

Call it my just desserts. I knew long ago and realised this disaster today, that something is very wrong with me. It's not just simple paranoia that's ruining my life, but something deeper, and concentrated. Heartbeats increasing suddenly, body trembling to an unknown fear, frustrated and anxious over what had never kept me worried before... Things like that is occuring to me. I'm pretty sure I'm physically healthy. Something is wrong with me, inside...

I started having hard breathing, and would also get very paranoid over things I wouldn't want to be reminded of. I'd clench my fist hard whenever I'm reminded of the word Yoshinoya, I get frustrated when Dar tells me about this guy, and I lose my temper when I lose control of my mind.

I know ordinary people would call it symtoms of stress or pressure, but I beg to differ. I couldn't forgive myself for something. I did not sense or feel any fear or sympathy in me when I heard the cries of Dar's brother when he was spanked hard, real hard for something he mischieviously did earlier tonight. I even forced my heart to pump faster at that moment to inflict a fear and chill in me, but it was to no avail. Then thoughts of my ugly childhood came in, all was blank.

I know bits of psychology through my gothical history, that's why I would admit to what I would call it an illness rather than a gothic feel. I need a personal psychiatrist. I need a shrink to supervise my life. Because I know one day if I don't get my condition fixed, I WILL GO CRAZY.

This is Serious... I mean it.... Dar........ Where are you ???