I read my age-old postings. Silly, funny, yet nostalgic. What else? Good old days, days that brought me where I am, took me where I shouldn't, and killed me how it would.

Changes in our lives, they are inevitable. Perhaps I'm never used to adapting to these alterations, but isn't life all about taking sharp turns and hard knocks? I had only wished that it wasn't so steep.

There are a million knots in my mind, yet they made up a beautiful piece of art. "We had a crazy plan to meet, and run away together." I remember the tune, that familiar melody which entices me into that moment of beautiful yet nasty phase of life.

As the Man-in-White says, 'Move On'.

Life is taking another detour. I hate to say this, but nothing is going my way. NS is in the way. It is in my way to doing more things, 4X

I've just watched the exorcism of Emily Rose, and it got to me when one of the 6 identified demons in the show happened to be Belial. Again it reminded me of the same demon classified in Clavicula Salomonis - the demon in the lesser key of Solomon according to Pseudomonarchia Daemonum, or Monarchy of Demons.

Listed as the 68th spirit (out of 72), Belial is believed to be created as a king after Lord Lucifer. But that wasn't what puzzles me. Belial is a demon in the same classification of demons as the demon which name I took after - 2nd spirit Duke Agares. If this part of the movie is real, then the lesser key of solomon tells a lot about demonic realms and its truth.

I shall not bewilder myself with such complications.

Responsibility.

Now let me tell everyone what this word actually mean. It comes in a million definitions, and I have one perfect explanation for this.

Most of the people would tell you responsibilities mean fulfilling your job and duties enticed to you, even if it means to take up your holidays. True enough, there isn't one single reason why anybody should omit anything in work. Heaps of load should all be cleared despite the stress - because they're paid.

I'm not paid, not doing something I applied for, therefore no responsibility. Simple. Money = Responsibility.

Luka Blight - Fear is a stupid emotion.

Agares - Lost and yet to be found.

Yes, that's what it is. I've completely lost myself after so much, and so much that I neglected people who love me. I feel guilty thinking of this, and so upset when I can't get a hold of myself. The soul that lifted me from forlornness seemed to drift away, leaving behind a wretched and empty carcass.

Yes there were times, I'm sure you knew. When I bit off more than I could chew. But through it all when there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all and I stood tall, and did it my way...

It was a fabulous song, I though it depicted my way. Until I lost myself did I know of the shame that I did not make the worth of this song. Somebody, show me the way to the Lost and Found dept please.

In search of a meaning. P.S - You can never find it in SG.

So finally I've become a top-scorer of the night in SAFRA Futsal court. I scored 4 goals, shot more than 3 on target (saved), but conceded a few by mistakes. Overall it was good, but better if I had better stamina. And you weren't here to see me score goals.

Life's hard to get by now. Too much changes, too much shocks and devastation, and too little time to feed cherries to my heart. More to come, and too little to smile. 2012, I'm waiting desperately for you. Not the doomsday, but the end of my misery.

Singapore, I'm beginning to dread your system.